Hello, Beautiful. I’m Christy.

Who am I? Why am I here?

Those questions have haunted me ever since I can remember. I have always been searching for answers. As a young girl I recall just wanting to FEEL God’s realness, to understand the pulse of the universe. It seemed like everyone knew something I didn’t. They talked about “knowing god’s will,”and “having a calling.” I was determined to find both. 

I did all the steps. I followed all the rules. I separated myself from “those people” who didn’t “believe the way we did.” I did everything I was taught, to the best of my ability, to make the right choices so God would notice me, bless me. In the end, all my efforts got me nowhere, but further away from the one thing that truly mattered…myself. 

That realization was hard to swallow.   See, when you live your life trying to find God or yourself somewhere “out there,” you move further and further away from your own voice. You lose yourself trying to find yourself. And, like an addict who can’t keep herself from the next hit, we keep trying more and more of what doesn’t work. 

We’ve largely been taught that we were born defective, in need of saving and need to adopt the right set of beliefs if we want to avoid some form “hell.” The way I see it, most of us are living in our own version of hell right now.   The mark that we have missed is that we have forgotten who we are. And the hell we live in is in our own minds where voices constantly tell us we are never enough; a reality where we can’t seem to create the lives we know deep down we were meant to live.

So, who am I?

I’m still not sure I can tell you in words.  In my 43 years of life, I have tried lots of things on, too many to list.  I have looked for answers in the other people, in information and in all kinds of doing. This search has been very lonely and the source of much of my internal suffering. But the pain of perceived separation from the world, God and myself finally cracked something open in me.  The pain drove me to awaken to a deep knowing within me, to the realization that I am what I seek.  And to a true encounter with the creator of all that is.

All that we search for lies within us.   There is no true distance between us and God, between us and the formless energy that is the breath we breathe and the unseen energy that is the life force of everything.

So, I am learning to live deeper into this awakening to this day; to live knowing that all I am and all I need is within me. To recognize that what appears to be missing in my life is what I have not yet allowed to come forth from within me. I’m learning to remove the things that block my true-self from fully shining that I might be the fullest possible expression of Christ-Consciousness, that is indeed my true essence and yours.  To know who you are, you must look deep within, to the place before thoughts are formed, feelings are felt and deeds are done.

The Hope

This is my hope and invitation to you...that you may know yourself in God and come to know that there is no distance between you. That you will fully awaken to the truth of who you are and walk in integrity with your greatness. That you will surrender all that blocks your radiance from pouring forth. That you will confidently stand the sacred ground of your soul and give the world the gifts you are here to give. The world needs what you came to give us.